We are Mark and Tammi Baden from Westerville, Ohio

Our adoption story starts with another one. I (Mark) have a brother James. He and his wife Robyn (who is Tammi's sister) adopted three children from Ethiopia before we did. They used an agency called Adoption Advocates International, based in Washington State, and we watched with interest as they went through the process, selecting the kids and dealing with the paperwork. It was quite an education, and two big things we learned from it were how good these kids were and that the adoption process wasn't so impossible after all.

For my brother and his wife, the adoption of their three new kids took about as long as a full-term pregnancy. At times the waiting was frustrating, but the anticipation was exciting, especially times when we got to see video of the new kids. They were trying to learn English and anything they could about our culture. Some of the little things they said and did were funny and some have become dear to us. When the day of their arrival came, we went with James and Robyn and some others to the airport to greet them (and to see them as soon as we could). It proved to be a large gathering, with even a newspaper reporter and photographer there. We waited. They were late. It emerged that it had taken so long to get through Customs at Chicago that they had missed the planned connecting flight. During the next hour, airport people started to wonder what this big group was waiting for. It was like waiting for a birth. Of triplets. When they finally arrived, it was wonderful. The newspaper guy told us later that even some of the security people were choked up. My brother and his wife suddenly had three new kids. We love these kids - these additions to our extended family. Our (birth) kids quickly befriended their new cousins.

It was very exciting. One of the reasons that the whole thing worked was the quality of the agency - AAI. We recommend them. Even after these kids were here, Tammi in particular had continued to view videotapes of kids available from Ethiopia through AAI. We sent a little money from time to time to help. These kids were really getting to her. She was ready to adopt, but I wasn't sure. We talked about it but money was a concern. I said I would agree IF we could afford it and IF we found the right kid. Tammi knew that there was funding options available from an organization called A CHILD WAITS FOUNDATION. We were considering adopting a sibling group or kids who were older and at some point we realized that adopting through AAI is what we wanted to do - IF we found the right kid (or kids). The search was on.

It is a big decision, to adopt. In some ways, it seems that selecting the child is an even bigger one. You go from the general idea to the specific and you become committed. It can be anxious and troubling, especially when you feel that by choosing to help one, you are choosing not to help all the others. You may feel excessively that you are choosing to leave all the others to their fates. I believe that many people go through this, at least briefly, in the selection process. The feeling disappears quickly; however after you find the right child.

Tammi was watching the tapes, narrowing the choices, and pointing out kids; there were several whom she would happily consider, but only a few that seemed close to being the right choice. She pointed these out to me. Out of these few, there was a pair of brothers that made an impression on me. All these kids elicit sympathy, but I really felt something for these two, and it was something more than sympathy. I didn't understand this feeling of connection to two young people I had never met, and who didn't know I existed, so maybe I was cautious in my response. It might not seem like the expression of a revelation, but I told Tammi that if it were to be any from the few she had narrowed it down to; Zelalem and Kiber were the only ones. She viewed the tape of them again, now specifically considering my interest in them. She liked them even more than before. We both thought about it. We both prayed about it. I think it was the next day that we knew we wanted these two boys.

Sibling groups are harder for agencies to place in new homes. Most people want infants or just want one at a time, so these boys had been waiting in an orphanage for over a year at the time we chose them, almost a year and a half. This puzzled me a little because they seemed like such great kids. Sure, they were a little older, about five and about nine years of age, but I didn't see how people could pass these two up. Tammi pointed out that they had been passed up by others because they were MEANT to be with us. I know now, it's true.

Okay, the paperwork is a hassle. A headache I admit it. The bureaucrats frustrate you. The waiting gets to you. But the excitement is huge. The payoff is great. The wait is worth it.
I confess I didn't feel so patient when the time came for their arrival and we were told at the eleventh hour that there wasn't room on the flight for them. A lot of preparations and hopes were dashed. We would have to wait another ten to fourteen days for the next escort. That was emotionally rough. It actually proved to be only a little over a week until the big day of their arrival. The expectant feeling really began to seem like that of a new birth.

Of course, I wasn't so patient while we waited for more than two hours at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago for the boys to emerge from customs. We had all but decided that they had missed the plane and the sickening feeling of what to do next was creeping over us. We had been told that they would probably be the last ones off the plane because of the type of tickets, but it seemed that the flow of passengers coming out had stopped, and we began to doubt they were coming. Then Tammi thought she had caught a glimpse of them at the far end of a long corridor. A little later I saw them, for just a moment. Soon after that we saw them cross through some more passages, working their way toward us. Finally they came through the doors, and it was a little bit magical. The feeling is hard to describe, really but we felt right away that it was right. It would be good. These kids were ours.

It means something to me that Tammi's brother Ron was there with us. I'm also glad that it wasn't a big reception; it was just the few of us. It compares with the births of our other children. In life some memories may fade, but not these.

As I write this, our new boys have been here a little over a year, and are doing very well. They are physically thriving, learning a lot, and fitting in. We are happy. I don't really know how we compare with other adoptive couples, but I know some people adopt because they cannot have children of their own. We already had kids, so with us it wasn't just to address a parental need. It was a combination really, of liking the idea of having another child in the family and wanting to help. At some point it was what we wanted to do. It was the right thing.