Our Story
We adopted our son, Jonathan Ming Ballantyne from China at 7 years old. He was born with a congenital heart condition called Tetrology of Fallot. They claimed he had the necessary surgery in China, but we were not sure of his complete condition until we got him home.
I was quite surprised by the conditions at the Beijing children's
welfare center. They were doing some maintenance, but the place seemed bright
and clean with a lot of colorful things going on for the children. It almost
looked like an elementary school in places. We did not get to see their bedroom
areas, only common areas. But our visit was not expected and I think we were
seeing them as they normally are.
Jonathan and some
boys from the BCWI
We had been to China once before when we adopted our infant daughter. So the trip went pretty much as I had expected. Thankfully no surprises, however, one pretty funny thing did happen. Well…. Our group had gone to the Great Wall and I stayed on the bus with our small daughter who was sleeping, so I did not get the opportunity to use the restroom while there. Once the bus got started back to the hotel I HAD to go, so they stopped in this local neighborhood which was completely rural and our guides were asking the folks who lived there if I could use their bathroom. The first family that offered literally had a tepee in the yard made out of bamboo with sheep roaming around. I made the attempt to walk out there, but could be fully seen by a bus load of people. Not to mention I had an equally hard time going with sheep watching. So the guides continued to search out a suitable bathroom and finally found one that was slightly more modern and ENCLOSED!! The people were so proud to offer it to me and ALL 6 of them plus the two guides waited outside the door while I went. When I emerged with a smile they all clapped! It was quite hilarious.
Everyone we met was really nice and curious. A lot of the older women were so enamored with our daughter and wanted to know where she was from!! (Which is China.) We kept telling them Jiangxi, but they didn't act like they believed us. My daughter has very round eyes so they didn't think she was Chinese.
When we saw Jonathan Ming for the first time, I could tell he was nervous, and we were so happy but did not want to overwhelm him. So we took it slow and kind of let him set the pace, we sat close and hugged on him, but tried not to be too pushy. He actually did really well, and bonded with our daughter and my husband first. He didn't cry or anything, but seemed a little nervous. Which I totally expected. He started warming up fairly quickly and is really a happy smiling little boy. He did a lot better than I anticipated. I don't know many adults who would fare so well.
Jonathan has done really well. We did have some issues at first that we had to work through, and we are continuing to work on smaller issues. But I think he is learning his place in the family hierarchy and gets along really well with my young daughter. We did have some respect issues with me at first, but that has come a long way and I now feel like he and I are bonding really well. He loves his aunts and uncles and cousins and enjoys his time with our immediate and extended family. We are fortunate to have a great adoption support group and some fantastic friends, who are so loving toward both of our children. It truly takes a village to raise a child.
Adopting an older child is definitely DIFFERENT than adopting a baby, but the challenges are worth it in regards to the rewards that it brings. He has only been home since March 24, 2005 and already his language skills are really coming along. He is a happy, sweet child, and we are truly blessed to have him. He is in the first grade here in Greenville and is learning to read and spell, and his math skills are excellent. Over all if given the chance we would do it all again, and it truly would not have been possible without the help from A Child Waits Foundation. We are forever grateful to you and your organization and the assistance you lend.
Howard and Misty Ballantyne