The Carroll Adoption Story

The Carroll adoption story began in January 2000.My husband Charles and I began to feel suddenly as if God wanted us to adopt older children from Russia. This was a bizarre concept for us at first. We had two wonderful children already and we rarely ever traveled out of the state. But, the feeling refused to subside, so we began the process. Applications, home study, seminars, Russian cultural camp, books to read, mounds of paperwork to be notarized and apostilled, and waiting. Everything seemed to have its own complications and delays along the way. Then in September 2000, we saw a picture of the 9-year old boy we felt God had chosen for us. So, more paperwork, and more delays and finally in March 2001 we were on our way to Moscow - thinking everything was finally working out. But after we arrived in Moscow, we were informed that we would not be able to adopt Kalai. It seems that the "new" Minister of Education felt that it was best for her to "choose" the children for families after they arrive. After months of feeling like Kolai was "our" boy we were heartbroken, and scared.

We called home to our family and church - who had been so faithful to pray for us during the entire process - to tell them the news. Well we did not know it at the time, but a large group of our friends gathered to pray at 11:30 at night - which was the same time as we were to meet with this new Minister of Education the next morning in Moscow. As it turned out (nothing short of a miracle), she was sick and out of the office for the day. Another lady working in that office was very agreeable to let us adopt Kolai! Then we were warned that he did not make "good contact" with people, and if it didn't work out, we could choose another child. Well, we hit if off like you can't imagine from the very first meeting. Everyone was amazed! We were so excited to be able to add Kolai to our family.

And yet, we felt all along as if God wanted us not only to adopt an older child, but more than one. So we were slightly confused as we proceeded with Kolai's adoption, but knew God had a plan. And, when we were at the orphanage, we met two other children Alek 6 and Enna 4, a brother and sister whom (as we found out later) had recently lost their mother. So, shortly after we brought Kolai home in June, we began talking about how we could adopt these two children. It seemed out of the question as we were financially spent. But I began having startling dreams of children tied in tiny beds, and I knew we must try. I contacted our agency in Russia and she informed us that we could do an independent adoption and their fee would be $7000. We were so excited to learn this as we felt we could manage that amount. So we began the paperwork process again: home study, INS, etc. We waited for our INS approval for over 3 months. When it finally came, we were notified by our agent two days later, that independent adoption in Moscow had been closed. She informed us that we could still precede if we would use an accredited agency that they had recently begun working for.

Alek and Enna

After contacting the agency, we were again heartbroken - their Foreign Service fees were $14,800 and agency fees were $9275 - more than 3 times the amount we were planning for (plus whatever our travel costs would be for two trips). I emailed our agent Katya and told her this was not good news for us. She quickly spoke to the agency for us (as we were practically ready to travel) and they lowered the Foreign Service fees to $9,800 and the agency fees to $6275. That did help, the fees were considerably more than we were prepared for, but we continued to proceed with the adoption through this agency. It was our only choice. I remembered having read an article about A Child Waits Foundation and the help they provide through low interest loans to families adopting waiting children. We hoped this might be the answer to our prayers, so we applied for a loan. We had no idea how things would work out, but we proceeded forward, changing paperwork to fit the requirements of the adoption agency and again - waiting. Then we found out we would travel the end of May - we were excited, but we had no where close to the amount of money we needed to finish our agency fees and our travel expenses - still we proceeded.

Then our agency let us know we wouldn't need the major part of our fees until the second trip. That was a sigh of relief, yet still I thought we must be crazy to continue at something that we were not sure we could complete. But, God continued to pour His blessings out on us, and A Child Waits Foundation called and said our loan was approved! I started crying right on the phone - we had our answer! And the next day, yet another blessing, our agency called to say we would only have to make one trip to Russia instead of two. And even though it would delay our travel date, it cut our travel expenses in half! So we waited some more, updated our medicals one more time, more paperwork (since everything was going directly to the court) and more waiting … for a court date. Finally in August we received our travel date, September 12th and we were on our way.

When our driver picked us up from the airport he drove us to the hotel where we dropped off our luggage, picked up Katya (our agent), and rushed immediately to the orphanage. Our court date had been moved up two days and we had to rush to get all the necessary meetings and paperwork completed. When we went in to meet with Alek and Enna, they were both very scared and nervous. Alek could not get his breath, and Enna would only look at the floor. We had brought some toys in our backpack and that seemed to help. We met with them again over the next couple of days, and each time they opened up more and more. We were staying in the Salut hotel - $26 a night, and you really do "get what you pay for", but we were on the "economy" adoption trip so we made do. And we managed to shop in the open market and corner grocery to avoid the higher cost of eating out.

Charles became an expert at navigating the Metro, and we rode it where ever possible for 5 rubles each ride instead of paying a driver $10 per hour. Court day came and everything went fine - except the judge decided not to waive the 10-day wait, and I was extremely disappointed. That meant another 17-days in country, and I was already missing our other three children very badly. Chassidy 16, Rance 15 and Kolai 10, had never been away from us for that long, I was exhausted, and simply didn't know if I could make it. Katya suggested that we move to an apartment to make our stay more comfortable, and lowered their fee even more to help cover the extra expense for the apartment. It was a good idea; cheerful and clean, and it made things bearable.

Enna and Alek in park across from apartment in Moscow.

In a few days I suggested to Charles that he go home to be with our other children, as I knew the situation was stressful for them too. We made the arrangements, but the day after he left, trouble began. Katya informed me that the grandmother had made an appeal to the court to stop the adoption and I would have to take Alek and Enna back to the orphanage. I knew then, for sure, that everything truly rests in God's hands and everything was completely out of my control. Sergei, my driver, and I made the 2 ½ hour drive that evening to take Alek and Enna back to the orphanage - I was glad Katya had told them this was just a part of the process so they would not be frightened. Each morning for the next 3-days, Sergei would pick me up early, we drove to Ramenskoe to pick up the children (they were still allowed to "visit" me) drove back to the apartment in Moscow, ate lunch, played, ate supper, then drove back to Ramenskoe to return the children to the orphanage. On Friday we had an official meeting with my agency, the Minister of Education, the local inspector, the orphanage director, the grandmother, and the children. It was our last chance to convince their grandmother that the adoption would be for the children's best interest, and to get her to sign a paper that would reverse her appeal to the court. Everything was tense to say the least and we were all scared that it would not work. But simply, by the grace of God, it did! She signed the paper and agreed to come to my apartment the next day with the children (and Sergei and Katya) and I would fix lunch for everyone.

Alek, Babushka and Enna, in apartment in Moscow on the day we had lunch.

Now on Saturday, as I was trying to fix lunch for 6, in my Russian apartment, on a tiny stove, with 1 skillet, 1 stockpot, and 1 small pan (which we had bought) using foods that were unfamiliar to me - it occurred to me that no where in any adoption book that I read, seminar that I attended, or support group that I sat in on, did it mention that cooking lunch for the grandma might be a possibility. However, it turned out to be a wonderful experience and was very beneficial for Alek and Enna to see Babushka and Mama talking, laughing, and eating together. And after that I knew things would be smooth going (If I learned anything through all of this it is to never think that things will go smoothly). In fact, up until I stepped on the plane with our children, I did not truly know if we would ever get them home. There seemed to be trouble with the passport office, etc. and Enna's passport pictures for her visa did not show her right ear and that sent us on a last minute wild chase across Moscow to acquire new pictures and Katya rushed them into the Embassy, with one minute to spare until they locked the doors. As she stood in my apartment that night, giving me extra documents and congratulations, she said "God was with you"! And He was! We are truly grateful to Him for carrying us through all of this, to our bio-kids Chassidy and Rance for putting up with caseworkers and giving up their space and opening their hearts, to our families and church family for their support and prayers, to all our friends in Moscow who literally ran all over the city to obtain paperwork, and to A Child Waits Foundation for financially making all this possible. Katya said it best on our last night in Moscow as we were saying our "goodbyes" - she looked at me and said, "That's two more out"!

Anna, Alek and Kolai with Nanny and PawPaw	Chassidy and Enna	Rance, Chassidy, Alek and Enna at Enna's 6th Birthday.

Barbara Carroll

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