The Carters
As we had adopted before from Eastern Europe we knew some of what to expect and it actually was better than Bulgaria. The Romanian people were a lot friendlier.
Man! I could write a book. After several changed dates and traveling we were finally given a travel date. While sitting in the airport and about to board, we received a call in the airport. It was our adoption agency telling us not to fly. The girl's passport would not be processed because Romania's passport machine was broken. But it was too late!!!! We had already boarded our luggage. All 15 suitcases were on board.
We arrived in Romania and our guide said, "no way are we going to get passports." They said, "no processing until April 4th", 2 weeks away. We had return tickets, one week away. We will see we said. After much drama, paper chasing, driving long distances, arguing with officials, the passport machine got fixed! Was it really broken? Duane, and my sister in law had to leave after a week but I stayed with the girls working on more problems with the passport. On one of our long trips back to the passport office in the Country where the girls were from, we were traveling late at night. All of a sudden, there was this big black animal in the road and we hit it hard.
Miraculously we did not wreak the car. Our guide did a great job keeping it on the road. There was a bar nearby that was open. Our guide put us there and the police detained him, making sure it was a dog and not a human. We then had to get a taxi somehow out there where we were in the middle of no where for it to take us back to the city. What an adventure. I flew home with the girls on April 4th, the day they said they would start processing their passports.
The orphanage was run down and past the offices which were nicely painted it was awful. Bathrooms were rusted and gross. Kids bathed in the toilets. Mattresses on beds were thin and lumpy.
We stayed at the Catholic Church in town and they fixed our meals for us. We also had the girls eat meals there with us. They later told us that was the most food they had ever had. One or two of the caretakers we met really tried to help out the kids but did not have much to work with. Now the orphanages are closed and the kids were sent to live in apartments with less supervision than in the orphanage, and some were released to live on their own. Romania is due to enter the European Union next year and they had to appear as though they took care of their orphan problem. It actually is worse now.
The girls were shy but soon though we were able to befriend them. As we had already visited them three months before, at Christmas, they seemed excited that we were back. Maggie and Seora are developmentally delayed and socially behind.
Maggie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seora
It has been a hard almost five years. There have been bonding and attachment problems. Seora struggled and still does occasionally with her birth parents leaving her. She has built a fantasy world, where her birth parents loved her and kept her. She has slowly healed from a lot of hurt and now there is a sparkle in her eye and glows as she is bonding to us. Maggie on the other hand has not let anyone get close to her. She has been the poster child for RAD. For 10 months she was in respite care at a ranch in Montana for adopted kids with RAD. She came home in April 2006 and did well for 5 months. One day it was like she snapped and determined she just didn't like us and started on a path of pushing us away and being destructive to herself. She had not been eating since April and that intensified with her different behavior. We have been doing natural heart therapy with her and see a counselor every week. Two weeks ago she decided that we weren't as bad as she had determined and began making good choices in her life. We pour out prayer over her on a daily basis. We pray one day she will see us as her parents. She is definitely much better mentally and emotionally than when she came to America. I call them my miracles in slow motion. We know God has a plan for her life. Though we have been about bankrupt with treatment for her, we feel it was all to save her life. It has been a tough road adopting older children who have so much hurt and pain, but God has been faithful to teach us about His love and strength about his adoption of us as His children, about letting go of anger and loving till you feel drained. We have learned to take one day at a time and try to see the positives in these kids who so desperately need love but can't accept it just yet.
I sell my artwork to benefit adoption and orphan relief. We are currently waiting to travel to China to pick up our son 4 year old Eli. Duane and I have seen God work in our lives and growing us through each adoption. Nothing was ever what we expected.
A lot of people think we are crazy! But one of my twins would be dead by now had he not been adopted, Maggie and Seora would be on the street as prostitutes had they not been adopted. Our Eli, who we are waiting on, needs surgery for his spine soon. If he does not get it, he will be a paraplegic for the rest of his life, and have no value to his life in China. God has called us to theses Fatherless children and laid them on our hearts. Every adoption has been a struggle for us. We get worn out and discouraged but through it all we learn to lean on God. We want Him to have the glory. We want to say to everyone, God hath done this. He has changed their lives and given them hope and a future.
~~~~~Maggie and Seora ~~~~~~~~~Graham, Nathaniel, Maggie, Seora and Ben~~~~
The Carters