We adopted Kuzma at the age of 3 ½ from Russia. A year before we began thinking of adoption we had a miscarriage. I, as mom kept feeling like we were missing someone. It was Pentecost Sunday, May 2004 we first were led, we believe by God, to think adoption. That very afternoon I first saw Kuzma's picture. Instantly, yes was my reaction, the rest is history, we inquired and filled out lots of paperwork. By October I was in Russia and home in New York by November 2004.
The orphanage was very clean, neat and well cared for. I got to see a glimpse of the daily living area. That too was neat and clean. The caretakers were very kind and gentle with the children. Kuzma was well loved there and he knew it.
When I first met Kuzma, I began to cry. I was so happy. I knew Kuzma was for our family. I spotted him, in heavy winter clothes, in a crowd of children "walking in the Garden". I called his name and he came right to me. Kuzma was very quiet and reserved the first week. Then, everything, everywhere - it was like trying to catch the energizer bunny. Gradually he calmed. Dad was his first attachment, and then it was me. He seemed to warm to the children immediately.
Once I met Kuzma at the orphanage, on a Tuesday afternoon, I was informed we could adopt next Tuesday if I got my husband here by Sunday. My friend headed home. I stayed in a portion of a local family's house. I paid them an agreed upon price for room and board. We called this home for a week. Everyday my son Silas and I visited Kuzma for nearly the entire day. Kuzma knew dad was missing. He sang to dad's photo everyday. Kuzma was content with me and Silas, but instantly upon seeing Dad he jumped into his arms, it was tough to put him down even for a moment
Kuzma was so tiny I sorely overestimated his clothing size; He left the orphanage in a very fine looking outfit that he was absolutely swimming in. He had enough layers on so I guess it was ok with the orphanage. Our visit was in the fall, many beautiful warm sixty degree days. Silas was never "dressed warm enough" in Russian. I layered it on Silas and he was cooking. Once out of sight I would take some layers off. What a game.
Kuzma is smart, strong, and sturdy despite his very small stature (5% on scale). Stage two rickets left him with a concave sternum. His endurance was poor at first but now he out runs most of us. Kuzma was born with a very short left arm and only two fingers and a thumb on the hand. It works for him!
The trip went much faster than I expected. My initial trip was made with a friend and my young son, two tears old. He was still breastfeeding so I chose to take him along, and everyone said don't and I said I must. Everyone in Russia bent over backwards to assist us because we had a small child.
One night on our way back to our living quarters after a visit with Kuzma, I was by myself with my son Silas and it was nearly dark. A wonderful man came from behind and shone a light on our path so I could see. He saw us to our door, then turned and went back the other way. I had walked the neighborhood quite a few times. It was a very "OK" place.
I had several days in the Region. Many young people "tried out" their English on me. One young English teacher (Russian Native) visited my quarters several evenings for chatting in English. Once we were invited to her home. WE are still in contact via E-Mail.
Generally things are going very well. Kuzma, by nature is a very strong willed child. (Maybe some was out of survival necessity? He apparently was failure to thrive early on.) So Kuzma often does and says what he wants instead of what he knows is correct. Slowly things are improving. He eats nearly everything. At four he is beginning reading and basic math. He loves physical play and learned to swim this summer. He floats on his back and turns over. He even goes off the diving board! He enjoys so many new adventures with us. Just the other day he figured out swinging on a swing.
My three year old had the reality of sharing more, not just talking about it. Now they are best buddies. My oldest, Eryn age nine seemed to resent that so much extra time and energy went to Kuzma. That's better now. I almost reminded her of how much she gets "just for her". Bridget my seven year old is so easy going. The only part she squawked about was the bites on her arms and legs that Kuzma shared with her! Kuzma was letting out frustration the wrong way. Local Russian friends helped here. They visited several times to help bridge the gap for a bit.
Eating initially was a real big deal for Kuzma. So many folks who have adopted children Kuzma's age told me how readily they consumed everything. Kuzma, whom I was told ate everything at the orphanage, was extremely reluctant to try anything new. He lived eight weeks on animal crackers, bananas, oranges and plain yogurt, healthy foods. Finally we broke the resistance to even try. I, mom, tried to introduce new foods. He tried one new food every week for two months. We are talking, plain green beans, potatoes of any sort…, and simple, plain foods. I had to put the food in his mouth and keep it there to allow Kuzma to taste it. He finally decided to try some himself! Talk about strong willed!!
If your heart is calling for another child, think adoption. Where there is a will there is a way. God sees to it!
The Cochrans