Adoption Story
for "A Child Waits Foundation"
After 2 successful domestic adoptions of beautiful baby girls, we were eager to complete our family mission to have 3 children. We set our sights on international adoption, drawn by the many television stories of orphans in crowded, under-funded orphanages, without a family to nurture their infinite potential.
After selecting a reputable agency, we considered many countries, all of which varied in family requirements, paperwork complexity, cost, time for placement, and policies in selecting the characteristics of the child to be adopted. Knowing that this would likely be the last addition to our family, we wanted the chance to parent a son. Also, having been graced with the experience of raising both of our girls from infancy, we acknowledged our preference for a toddler, about 1-2 years old. Finally, with my wife's experience as a pediatric physical therapist, we were open to a child with a minor physical disability.
With
these criteria in hand, we narrowed our choices to three: Cambodia, Guatemala,
and the Philippines. After much research on the culture, travel requirements,
processes, and orphanage conditions of each country, we settled on the Philippines.
We were surprised by the amount of "administrative waiting" required
for international adoption, as compared with our domestic experiences: The mounds
of forms, endless photocopies
of records, and trips to notaries were peppered
with lots of downtime while waiting for one government agency or another to process
our paperwork. With due diligence and lots of reassuring contact with our social
worker, we got through the process in about 4 months, and were finally on the
official "waiting list".
It was less than a
month before we received our first call about a little boy waiting at
"Chosen
Children" orphanage, which was a facility held in high regard by the country
coordinator at our agency. He was an active & personable 8 month old
who was abandoned at birth, with missing fingers on one of his hands. We were
eager to get the photograph; when it arrived 2 days later, we were instantly hooked!
There was one other family who was also considering this little boy, and had committed
to making a decision within 3 days. This was the longest 3 days of our lives!
Finally, the agency let us know that the placement was ours if we wanted, and
we jumped at the chance!
Two months later, I was on the plane for the 23 hour ride to the other side of the world. Our agency had provided me with a great "travel guide", which described exactly what would happen, from the arrival at the airport in Manila until the departure: what type of taxi to ask for, what to tell the driver & how much to pay him, what the hotel is like, who to call the next morning, etc. This made the trip a lot less intimidating.
My arrival
at the orphanage the next morning was among the most thrilling experiences of
my life. Chosen Children was immaculately clean, well equipped, and had a very
helpful and friendly staff. I was quickly led to the cafeteria, where my new son
was having his lunch. As soon as our eyes met, recognition filled his face; my
face was familiar from the photographs we sent to him during our waiting period.
I sat down next to him, and we instantly hit it off!
He
seemed fascinated by me, as if he knew that this was the beginning of something
big!
I spent 4 days with him at Chosen Children, learning his routine, his
diet, his mannerisms, & his demeanor. This was extremely helpful in transitioning
him into his new life. I learned important things about him, and how he behaved
when he was comfortable with his surroundings. Through this visit, I gradually
took over more and more of his care giving, and by the last day, I was putting
him to sleep and giving him his meals, and he was clearly used to me being around
every day. On the last day, we went back to the hotel in Manila. There, he got
to experience a swimming pool for the first time in his life, and even got to
see a shopping mall, since the sneakers I had brought for him were way too small
for his feet.
The trip back on the plane is something
I like to try to forget. A plane ride of that length
is tough on anyone,
but its unbearable if:
A.) You're 10 months old
B.) You didn't sleep very well
C.) You don't like the food on the plane
D.) You don't have your own seat
E.) You don't have enough room to move around
F.) You've never been on a plane before
G.) You've only known your travel
companion 5 days
Somehow, we got through it in one piece, and I still feel bad for the people who sat near us, and for the patient guy next to me who ended up wearing some mashed potatoes for most of the trip.
Coming off of the jet way at home was also very exciting, especially for my wife who had been waiting for this moment for months. I think all of the excited faces, balloons and camera was a little much for him, because he sat on my lap on the floor and wouldn't move. By the end of the day, he had come out of his shell, and as the 5 of us sat on his bedroom floor as he got to know his new toys and sisters, we knew that this was a match made in heaven. Over the next year, we were fascinated to watch him become a well-adjusted American boy: he now loves French fries, baseball and amusement park rides, swims like a fish and rides his bike like a pro. He's got a little dimple on his cheek that shows up when he laughs, and we see that dimple a lot. A brilliant surgeon was able to construct a couple of short fingers for him, and he is now able to hold a ball or crayon.
We're
very grateful for everyone's support in the completion of our family, including
A Child Waits foundation.
Our hearts go out to the thousands of children who are still out there waiting,
and hope that our story inspires other families to start down the exciting road
of adoption!
