We adopted our son Thomas Fernandes at the age of 6 years old from China. Tommy was born without ears- microtia/atresiaitte. He has had three surgeries to rebuild his ears and to restore his hearing. He is due for three more, plus cranio-facial when he is older. He also has ADHD which was undiagnosed in China.
The orphanage was very nice. They gave Tommy a big party when he left, with lots of pictures. When Tommy was told he was going to be adopted, he went to everyone in the orphanage to tell them "I must tell you goodbye, somebody wants me".
Nanjing was wonderful but dealing with an undiagnosed ADHD child was a nightmare. In shops, people often didn't charge us, just told us to take Tommy and GO. Several older women yelled at my older son, who is Chinese, asking why he didn't control his brother. However, he didn't speak Chinese. Most people just stared, most were appalled at his behavior.
When I met Thomas for the first time I was alarmed and felt the facial asymmetry might be downs syndrome, however he picked up ASL rapidly. It was evident he was a brilliant child, just desperately needed ADHD medication.
His older brother wanted to give him back. During the ceremony at the consulate where you swear to keep and treat this child as your own, my son asked "why did you have to promise that"? He and his little sister are joined at the hip. She is hearing impaired also and she absolutely worships her "Twommy." They both attend the school for the deaf together. Tommy and his older brother are doing better. Tommy loves to attend his brother's sports events, but right now the differences between them are too great for them to be friends.
Marirose and Tommy Christmas 2005------------------ Christian, Marirose and Tommy -----------------Marirose and Tommy, the "twins"
Since we brought him home he is doing so much better. He is on ADHD medication and has had a lot of hearing restored. Tommy is at the head of his first grade class; he skipped Kindergarten and shows an incredible aptitude for math for a child that has only been here a year. He reads and spells well, in spoken English and is fluent in ASL which he uses with his sister.
---------------Christian, Marirose and Tommy-----------------------------Tommy and Christian -------------------------------------------------Tommy-----------------------
Tommy wanted a home so badly; he never shed a tear in China and never looked back. He has picked up the routines at home incredibly fast and blooms with one-on-one attention. It was a rough first year but things are so much better now.
China and the facilitators need to do a better job at recognizing and diagnosing ADHD. His was so obvious, and anyone could have figured it out.