We adopted William and Julian from Russia at the ages of 4 and 2 from the Novorossiysk baby and children's homes. The facilities seemed clean, and brighter than we expected. The clothes were a bit threadbare. Both boys had to get use to self control with food portions after never having much extra. We think from therapy results that the older boy's facility was a punitive environment.
Our younger son, Julian, experienced only growth delay and has made great strides. Our older son William had strabismus correction and has had a series of cosmetic surgeries to remove a four inch scar along the back of his head. (Four inches wide and seven inches long.)
On our visitation trip, when I sat down with the court official, I was told the rules had changed and now I needed to tell them which one I wanted now. The second child would need to stay in Russia at least twelve months. I was so wiped out from four unforeseen days in Moscow (during which I got ill) and traveling without my husband, I freaked! Our interpreter and local rep were great and all was resolved so we could bring both brothers home. Everyone seemed as excited for us as we were. Except for the "last minute laws" each person was kind, professional and helpful.
On the visitation trip I was so exhausted, stressed and dehydrated after seeing the court official that I nearly fainted in the director's office at the Children's Home and got sick. Not a great first impression. When I saw my children for the first time I felt giddy, nervous, and still a little dizzy.
The younger boy was a little shy and nervous but was pleasant and opened up. My older son latched on right away, looking at my pictures and yelling with joy that he had grandparents and two dogs. They are completely members of our family (immediate and extended). My husband's two daughters are older and do not live with us, but they are very close with their brothers. They are a handful with their cousins (as a group of young boys should be). It was amazing to us how quickly they bonded not only to us, but their grandparents, aunts and uncles. It's like they were dying to have these positions filled!
Just a side note: Let's just say you should learn "I have to pee" in the native language, so when your four year old shouts it out in a car, you know why people are staring.
It has been a few years since they have been home and they are doing Wonderful! William is in second grade and doing so well. Reading support/tutoring is a key with him, but after RAD therapy and OT, he is a normal football and lacrosse playing seven year old. Julian started Kindergarten, charms anyone he meets and is an amazing little gymnast and artist.
It was a challenging and at times frustrating process, but worth every ounce of effort. Yes, our lives can be a bit insane, with the usual activities of kids and added weekly behavior therapy groups (each boy is diagnosed with ADHD). Each night I go in after they are asleep and still stare in awe that we were blessed with two such gorgeous, bright and most importantly thriving little boys. After each insane rush around for documents, each frantic fed ex for apostilles and each and every check, you feel drained during the process. We called it our 6-18month pregnancy, and eight day labor. But the end result is wonderful, silly, crazy, challenging, never dull, fun, overwhelming chaos and we love it! Thank you to A Child Waits Foundation for all your assistance, because we wouldn't have done it without you!!!!!!
The Leaman's