Our Adoption Journey
by Dave and Marva Lubben
"And whoever welcomes a little
child like this in My name, welcomes Me. "Matthew 18.5
On Fathers Day, June 19, 2006, I (Marva) was reading
the new issue of Bethany's Life Lines magazine. I always study all the pictures
or children who wait. In this issue, one little girl just grabbed my heart and
I started wondering if she was the daughter that God had planned for us to adopt.
We have a blended family of seven children, ages 25 to 51, but ever since we
got married in 1992, we have talked about adopting another child. About three
years ago, we pursued twin girls from Columbia, but by the time they received
our request, they had already been assigned to another family. We never gave
up on the idea, but we also didn't make work of seeking out a child either.
We truly believe that "Children are a gift from God." Psalm 12/:5
When my husband saw that I was looking at the Life Lines, he said "I found
a little girl in there for us." I told him that I did too, and when he
said her name was Lai, I said that she was the same one that I had been drawn
to. That was our first sign that maybe God still did want us to adopt another
child.
That really got me thinking and I had a very sleepless night. I prayed and asked
God that if this was His will, to show me a clear sign. The next morning I went
to check my email and there were 25 messages! The first one I clicked on was
from Dave's niece and it turned out to be quite fitting. It opened up with "God
determines who walks into your life…. It's up to you to decide who you
let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go. "Well, that
was pretty clear to me! We decided not to let Lai go.
That day, we contacted Bethany and found out that Lai was still available (another
sign). There were four other families interested in her, so we completed our
preliminary application as soon as possible (not that this was an easy thing
to do in a hurry!) We were also thrilled to find out that we could have Ginny
Schutter for our social worker because she was my social worker when I adopted
two of my girls from Korea. Shortly after sending in our paperwork, we received
a call from Ginny that we had been pre-approved and we could start our home
studies in just a couple weeks.
When we told our other children about our decision to adopt, some of them guessed it before we even said it. They were all very excited and supportive about the idea of having another sister. I also have a brother who was adopted from Korea 40 years ago so adoption is nothing new to my family. We decided to add two letters to Lai's Chinese name and call her Laiya. Her middle name is Joy because we knew she would bring us much joy.
Our trip to Hong Kong was incredible. We will never forget seeing Laiya walk
up to us - our new daughter, finally in our arms. We were so impressed with
the care that she received and the wonderful way her social worker from ISS
prepared her for leaving her birth country and beginning a new life in the United
States. We were able to see where Laiya lived and went to school, and to meet
her foster family, teachers, tutors, and social workers.
We have been home now for four weeks and things are going amazingly well. Laiya
misses Hong Kong, but she is so happy. As we were leaving Hong Kong, I asked
her how she was feeling and she smiled and said "happy". This is what
she has been asking for since she was 1O years old. She has been in foster care
since she was just six. As she put it in her first letter to us, she said "I
am so happy that I will have a forever family".
A couple weeks ago my son asked Laiya what
she misses the most and she said "my friends". Then he asked what
she likes the most about the U.S. and she said "my family", and when
he asked her what was the most different, she said "my home". She
spent the last 8 years living in a 100 square foot apartment with 4- people,
so she's a little overwhelmed with all the space that we have in our house.
We began this adoption process believing the words of Proverbs 16:3, which says "Commit whatever you do to the Lord and you will succeed" and God has been faithful. We believe that if God leads you to it, He will lead you through it. He proved that with the help from A Child Waits Foundation. We are so happy that God chose us to be Laiya's family - she truly is a blessing to our family.