The Story of Sasha

The story of Sasha begins 13 years ago.

I had just completed my job as class advisor for the Shikellamy High School Class of 1990 and was reassigned to a job in the elementary school working with first graders. This was a new experience for me and one I was not looking forward to as I had never worked with children so young. I just knew I loved kids and decided to do my best to handle my new job assignment.

The first few days of school that year were a little difficult for me. It was different learning how to deal with this age group after being accustomed to teenagers. After a week or so I was doing just fine and actually started liking this job as much as the one I had left behind.

In a very short time one of the boys in my class named Justin had attached himself to me. I came to find out he had little contact with his father since his mother and father were divorced. His biological father lived in Florida and despite taking him to Florida for the entire summer; this man was still a virtual stranger for whom he had no feelings. Justin's stepfather was in prison for beating both he and his mother. His mother was hard working and did the best she could for him and his younger sister. However, working left little or no time for her to spend with her children and they were mostly with a babysitter or some other care giving organization.

As time went on we became more like father and son. Things were going well; and I started to love this little boy with all my heart, as did the members of my family. We would take him places with us and do many things with him.

While I was spending time with Justin I did not know his mother had any contact with his stepfather in prison. One day, he came to school with a note (the contents of which to this day I still cannot believe) for me from his mother. It said I was to have no further contact with her son outside the classroom and as little contact in the classroom as possible. Crushed by this, I immediately called his mother to inquire as to why. She told me his stepfather had just been released from prison and did not approve of this relationship. It seems that my father, Northumberland Chief of Police, at the time of his arrest had been responsible for his imprisonment!

That day was December 24, 1990, the worst day of my life. For the rest of that year I saw him only in school. When the last day of school came, we said our good-byes as his father waited to take him to Florida for the summer. I told him I would always love him; and he always would have a home, if he needed, with my family. That was June of 1991. The last time I ever saw Justin. His mother and stepfather moved numerous times in the years to follow. I eventually lost track of him and have not heard from him since.

In the months that followed that ordeal I did a lot of soul-searching and praying. I wondered if I had done something wrong and why God would let me have this precious gift, the love of a child needing a father for such a brief time. The answers to those questions and prayers seemingly never came.

I stared seeing ads in the media for adoption. The thought entered my mind that maybe this would be my answer. Every time I would start researching all the possibilities I would see on the news yet another adoptive child had been returned to his or her biological parents and once again 3 more lives had been destroyed. I was not willing to take the chance that our unending legal system could take my child and I would become yet another media spectacle ending in the unbearable pain of losing another child. Once in a lifetime was enough for me.

Nonetheless, I never stopped looking and researching all aspects of adoption. I checked laws, regulations, and adoption agencies. I searched the internet and studies as I have never studied before. I investigated international adoption in many different countries. I talked with countless agencies and people about their experiences. Every time I was frightened away by the endless trail of paperwork, not to mention the constant escalation of price. It seemed to me that international adoption was not for a hard-working single man, but rather something for married rich couples who had no other alternative.

Years passed, after speaking with an attorney in Nevada, I finally decided to try to adopt here in America. Checking with the State Bar of Nevada and having numerous calls with this lady, I decided to begin my paperwork and start the process that I had been long researching, the adoption of a child.

Over the next several months I completed a home study (an evaluation of my home, finances and parenting skills by a licensed social worker) and did all that was asked of me. Once all this was completed, I sent it to the lawyer in Nevada and started to wait, knowing all the while all of these vital documents were only good for one year.

I waited and waited. Finally, in the 11th hour the call came; and it was not at all what I expected. Instead of a healthy newborn baby as promised, she called and offered me the baby of an alcoholic mother who at the time of conception had been taking drugs as well. I knew that I could not handle this child on my own and called to decline this offer. When I called, she had disappeared and so had my paperwork and money. This was the spring of 2000. This was also when I decided to call it quits as I thought there was going to be no child in my life no matter how hard I tried.

Every summer I would see on our local television station that the orphans from Russia had arrived. Every year I watched with tears in my eyes as I wanted so badly to give one of them a home, but knew I could never afford it.

In July of 2002, just as every summer past, the story was on our news. As I had in the past, I told my family I would love to do the adoption this way, but I just could not afford it. At that point my father said, "You are going to be in your 90's before you think you can! Just call them tomorrow and at least get some information." And so, on July 3, 2002 (my 35th birthday), I called and left a message. Later that afternoon a kind lady with a deep Russian accent called me and explained her agency and how the process worked. She introduced herself as Tatiana Suslin, Director of World Links. She also told me it would not be easy for me as I was a single father and the Russian Federation shied away from single fathers. After talking to me a little more, she invited me to a gathering which was held on Sundays near her office. She said we could talk further, and I could meet some of the parents who had already adopted from Russia through her agency as well as some of the children who were here looking for their "forever family."

Reluctantly, I went to Scranton on Sunday and took my parents for moral support. When we got to the park there were hardly any children there. I remember remarking that one of the boys seemed so happy and he was a beautiful, active, happy child. I said, "Someone is going to get a really nice boy there."

Then I met Tatiana face to face. She talked with me again stating it was going to be hard for me as I was a single father, but she said, "If you listen to me, I can make it work; but you MUST listen!" I told her how I had been trying for 12 years to do this, and I would do anything she asked of me if only she could help me. She told me that I could only adopt a boy and wanted to know what age I was hoping for. I told her I wanted a child no older than 4 years of age. She told me we would have our work cut out for us, but she would try. I spoke to her a while longer, and we decided that after the first of the year I would begin my paperwork to host a boy in the summer of 2003. Then, at the end of his stay, I would file a petition to adopt him.

I visited with the children and some of the parents a while longer and then went to say good-bye to Tatiana. When I approached her, she was talking to a boy of about 16 years. He immediately looked at me and then with sad eyes looked at the ground so I could speak to Tatiana. I said good-bye and told her I would contact her after the first of the year.

All the next week the look on that boy's face bothered me. Why did he look at me with such a sad expression? Did no one want him because of his age? Why did he look at the ground? I wondered if he was ashamed to look at me, as if he were not as good as I am, because he is orphan? All these questions kept racing through my head for a week. Finally, when the next Sunday came, I got dressed and told the family I was going to Scranton (about a 2 hour drive) again. They asked why, and I told them I did not know why; I just had to go.

I met Tatiana again as well as her administrator, Diane Bridges. They both asked why I was there again; and I said, "I don't know." Then I told Tatiana what was bothering me from the previous week. She told me that in Russia children look at the ground out of respect when two adults wish to speak. I asked if this boy had been adopted, and then there was some confusion between Tatiana and Diane as to who he was. I looked in vein and could not find him that week so they agreed to send me some pictures and maybe we could figure it out that way.

As the third week wore on, I received the pictures and was more confused than ever. I just could not get his face out of my mind, but yet I could not find him among the seemingly dozens of faces I had before me. The third Sunday of July came, and again I went to Scranton to see the children and to try to figure out this mystery. When I arrived, I could see the boy in question was playing with some friends. I immediately pointed him out to Tatiana and Diane. They told me that he was Misha and that he was 17 and had been adopted several months prior. With a sigh of relief I said, "Okay." And just then Tatiana turned to me and said, "I thought you wanted a young child?" I said, "Well, yes I did; but I just felt sorry for him and figured everybody needs a home." Tatiana and Diane looked at me with an odd look. I asked if all of the children were going to be adopted that were here for the month. Tatiana said, "All but one." She said, "No one wants this boy because he is older. Why don't you just talk to him?" I said I did not think it would be wise as I did not want to hurt his feelings because I just could not adopt him at this time. This statement did absolutely no good as Tatiana immediately ordered me to sit down and stay right there.

Before I knew what was happening she said, "This is Sasha. Talk to him. My daughter Mariana will translate for you." And off she went to let me flounder on my own with this child I had never met and knew nothing about. At that moment I was frozen in terror and could not think of a single thing to ask him. Slowly the words came and we spoke. After a few short minutes I saw this child was in pain as he knew no one wanted him and that he would be returning to Russia with no family and no hope of ever coming to America again.
Upon seeing this I asked Tatiana if I could come and spend a day with him doing whatever he wanted to do. She looked at me and said, "I knew you would love Sasha! Of course you can come see him; I will make it work." I went back to Sasha and asked if he would like me to come spend a day with him to which he quickly replied, "DUB" (Russian for "yes") with a firm voice and big smile! I told him I would be back as soon as I could make the arrangements with Tatiana, and he understood.

My 1st picture of Sasha (taken in the orphange).

Thursday of that week I went to Scranton and met with Tatiana for 2 hours. I then went to get Sasha at his host family's house. His host mother told me he had been sitting on the front porch for over 2 hours waiting and watching for me. I apologized to him for being late and told him they needed to talk to me a bit more to see that I was safe before I took him. He told me that it was okay and that he understood. Sasha and I visited at his host family's home for a bit; and then him and me, accompanied by Galeena, our interpreter, left for a day of fun at a nearby park. It was the best day of my life. We played air hockey and raced go-karts over and over. It was so wonderful to see this child smile and hear him speak with laughter and happiness in his voice.

After about 2 hours he hinted that I could have his paperwork done in as little as 3 months if I wished to adopt him. I knew in my heart that I wanted to, but I would have to wait and see what Tatiana, and even more so the Board of Education in Smolensk, Russia, would have to say. I was not about to tell him prematurely that I wanted him only to later have his hopes crushed.

The next day I stopped at the World Links office. Tatiana told me she had talked to the head of the Board of Education in Smolensk and they had given their unofficial consent. If I wished to adopt Sasha, I should start my paperwork! I said, "Of course I want him!" I even told her of how he hinted about me getting the paperwork done in 3 months. She immediately responded in a firm tone "at least 6 months." I said it did not matter what the time limit, I just wanted to go and get him and tell him the good news!

I picked him up and we went to the park again for the morning. Everyone working at the park knew his story of being an orphan from Russia and was extra nice to him giving him free rides and tokens to play games. They were all excited when I told them the good news which he did not yet know!

Over lunch at Pizza Hut that day, I again told him I was single and what I did for a living. I told him I was not a rich man but that I would do everything I could to give him a good life and take very good care of him. Then I told him I loved him very much, and said, "If you would like, I would like to adopt you and make you my son." Upon hearing those words through Galeena" he froze. He sat motionless for what seemed to be an eternity. Then he started to speak. He told me it did not matter how much money I had and that I was not married; he liked me very much and was hoping I would want to adopt him. At that point I gave him a hug and told him everything would be all right and that I loved him and would work hard to bring him home as soon as possible.

I spent the rest of his visit driving to Scranton everyday to spend as much time with him as possible until he had to return to Russia. When the fateful day finally arrived, I knew I would not be able drive myself home after having to say good-bye to my son. I knew I could not alone deal with the pain of saying good-bye again to a child I loved, so I asked my parents to go with me to Scranton one last time to see him off. We again spent the morning together playing games and riding the go-karts at the park. When the final moments came, I gave him a glass cross full of coal from the Titanic that I always wore and had Galeena tell him this was my promise I would come for him as soon as possible.

We all hugged him and kissed him good-bye as he got in line to get on the bus. As he neared the bus door, all at once he jumped out of line and bolted for me. He jumped into my arms and cried "No Papa, No!" I told him he had to go and that I would come for him. He just had to be strong a little while longer.

He got on the bus that day and waved and smiled being reassured that I would be coming for him. He waved until the bus rounded the comer and was out of sight. At that moment, my knees gave out and I almost passed out right there on the sidewalk. Just then a lady held me up and said the words that I will never forget: "Today is the worst day of your life. Grieve today and get over it. Start your paperwork tomorrow. Make a goal of doing one thing for him everyday. A phone call, mailing a letter, filling out a form and your time apart will be shorter. It is only a temporary goodbye. Work at it every day and the goodbye will be even shorter." As quickly as she came, she was gone and I have never seen her again. I asked several weeks later at World Links who she was, and they had no idea. They knew of no one fitting the description I had given. Maybe she was an Angel sent at the right time to let me know I was finally on the right track. Who knows?
The next day I started my paperwork. I paid very careful attention to every detail so it was just right and no error would delay its processing. I double and triple checked all my work. I knew it had to be right for him.

Two weeks after Sasha had returned to Russia, I had the surprise of my life. My cell phone rang, and it was Sasha calling me all the way from Russia! He chattered to me in Russian and the best few words of English he could muster. I had no idea what he was trying to tell me, all I know is that I was just happy hearing his voice.

At the end of the call I immediately called World Links and Oksana called the orphanage to see if anything was wrong. She called and told me Sasha was fine and just missed me and wanted to hear my voice. She told me that Nina, the orphanage director said he was like a different boy since his return. He had shown everyone in the orphanage his pictures of his new home and family in America at least a dozen times each! She also said he was happy and full of life and very helpful.

I worked at the paperwork and getting as much money together as I could to submit it to all of the various agencies as fast as I could. All the while I kept calling him in Russia to let him know of my progress and to see if he was okay as well as to let him know that I missed him and loved him very much. All he would ask is, "What will my new name be?" and "When Papa, when?" I told him I hoped "maybe" for Christmas, and the agency had confirmed this; but it still was a big "maybe." Each time he assured me that he understood and that he loved me and would wait patiently for me and be as good and helpful to Nina as he could be.

I was playing in a local oldie's band at this time as well as working at my piano business. I used all of the money I made with the band to pay as many of the expenses of the adoption process as I could, but I still found myself falling short financially.

I began an exhaustive search on the internet for sources of funding. It was very hard to find anyone who would loan money for an "international adoption." I knew that without a source of additional funding it would be a long time before I would be able to bring Sasha home, if ever.

During a search of the internet, a web site for "A Child Waits Foundation" appeared. As I opened the sight and began to read, I was amazed that I had found a financial resource that offered low interest loans for international adoption! It was late, but I just could not close this sight. I kept reading into the early hours of the morning. All of the information was so incredible. All of the folks at this foundation knew what I was going through and all of the expenses involved.

The next day I called and spoke with Raymona Griffin. She gave me all of the information I needed and told me how to download the forms from the web site to apply for a loan to cover the remaining expenses. I quickly filled out these forms and returned them to her. She assured me I would have a quick response from her as to the consideration given to my application. Within the next few weeks my phone rang, it was Raymona. She said the board had approved my application. I was so surprised and relieved that I was in tears and could not speak. I apologized and hung the phone up. After I was able to speak again I called and spoke with Raymona. I felt bad for hanging up but she assured me she is used to such a reaction from adoptive parents.

I thanked her and told her how much my son and I appreciated the help because without it the adoption may never be completed. In the weeks to follow, all of the people at "A Child Waits Foundation" where there for me, they were kind and courteous, and willing to offer advice and help. To them I will always be grateful for helping me bring my son home. I could not have done it alone.

By the end of October I had done all that was required of me. From criminal checks by the state police to child abuse clearances from the department of Public Welfare to fingerprints for the I.N.S. and F.B.I to a home study by a social worker. It was all done. Now all I could do was wait and pray it was all done properly and would clear quickly for me to go and get my son and bring him home to stay.

Thanksgiving came and went and I heard nothing from either side of the ocean. Not one word from the Russian government. Not one call from the American government. Christmas was now approaching and I had to admit I was not in the Christmas spirit at all. Each day seemed like an eternity. I know I must have called Diane and Tatiana at least a million times, and each time they assured me it would be okay. They were so kind and patient through all of this.

On December 18th I went to St. John's United Methodist Church in Sunbury to tune 3 pianos for a triple piano concert they were having on Sunday December 22nd. I began talking to the Pastor (Pastor Jeff) and told him my story. I explained that nothing short of a miracle would let me have my son for Christmas as I did not yet have my invitation to come to Russia and get him. I explained that if I did not get it within 24 hours I could not go until after January 13th when all of the American and Russian offices reopen after the holidays.

He told me he would keep me in his prayers that I would get the letter I needed. He invited me to attend the piano concert and service for which I was tuning on Sunday. Shortly after he left, his wife Nancy came into the sanctuary and said Pastor Jeff told her of my pending adoption. She talked with me for a little while and assured me she too would pray for my letter to come.

I talked to Tatiana later that day. She still had not received the letter and I knew now there was no hope left. I would not have Sasha home until mid January. The next morning at 9 a.m. my phone rang and it was Tatiana. She said, "Merry Christmas!" I asked her, "What's so merry about it?" She said, "I just got your letter on the fax machine, and you are invited to come to Smolensk, Russia, to adopt your son. Your court date is December 25th!!!! !" What better date! Matter of fact, what a miracle! I screamed, "YES! OF COURSE, I'LL GO!" to which I heard a sigh of relief from Tatiana as she laughed and said, "I'm glad because I just booked your airline tickets!"

I went to Scranton on Friday, December 20th and worked to prepare my last papers and visa information for my journey. With all the last details of paperwork out of my hands, I came home and tried to pack! What a mess! For months I had been gathering things together and now in the final hours, I was a total disaster! As reality set in and I calmed down as best as I could, I got all of my things together in several suitcases. On Saturday the last piece of the puzzle arrived by FedEx courier. It was my visa and plane tickets to Russia. I finished packing and organizing all my paperwork and clothes.

Then I remembered the invitation to the last church service and concert at St. John's before Christmas the next morning. I went to bed and tried to sleep. Sunday came and I went to church anxious to tell my story to Pastor Jeff and his wife, Nancy. When I saw Nancy, she grabbed me and asked if I had heard anything at all; and I told her my letter came the next day, and I would be adopting Sasha Christmas day! She immediately broke into tears and exclaimed, "God is Good!" and hugged and congratulated me. I thoroughly enjoyed the service and concert and afterwards told Pastor Jeff my good news. He congratulated me and told me that he would keep me in his prayers for a safe journey and finalized adoption.

I said goodbye that night to my parents. I knew they would be at work when I had to leave the next morning. They could not go to the airport with me anyway as security at JFK was extra tight following the 9/11 attacks the previous year.

I got up the next morning, Monday, December 23rd, and had breakfast and talked with my Grandmother. Then the time came for me to leave for the airport. As we said our good-byes with tears in our eyes, I assured her I would see her again on Saturday and everything would be fine. I told her I was looking forward to this trip, and I would be okay once I got to Moscow and met my coordinator, Big Sasha.

I arrived 4 hours early at the airport to clear through security. As could be expected, my flight was delayed for 1 hour. When we finally got off the ground, it was an incredible feeling to be on my way not only to my new son, but to a new country, a new culture and a new life.

The flight landed in Moscow 1 ½ hours late. After a long wait to get through passport control, I made it and then through customs as well. On the other side of the gate was Big Sasha, my coordinator in Moscow. This is the man that for the next few days would control my life and make it all happen for my son and me.

We immediately left the airport and headed into the city of Moscow. The traffic was heavy, but I did not mind as I was seeing a new country for the first time. Some of the sights were new and some of them familiar but nonetheless, I was happier than I had ever been. There was not one bit of fear or nervousness in me. Russia looked just like home! Other than for the language difference, everyone was open and very friendly to me.

We arrived at the train station where, for the first time, I had a moment in the cold Russian air. When I asked Sasha how cold it was he responded, "Naturally it is - 30. Quite normal for this time of the year." It was now about 5:00 p.m. Moscow time and the sun had set; but the lights on the old Victorian train station were spectacular.

We immediately went to an exchange window and had my American money converted into rubles! What a difference in currency! After this we hurried to the window to get a ticket for the last train to Smolensk for the evening. It departed at 6:00 p.m. That gave me just one hour before I had to embark on the last leg of my journey that would bring me to my son forever!

I was starving so we grabbed a quick meal in the restaurant of the train station. I was never so surprised as when I got my meal! What we in America call a saucer, Russians call a dinner plate! So much for starving, now I was only hungry! We finished our dinners and then Big Sasha and I went to the car to get my luggage. I stopped only briefly to get a few pictures of the train station, but nearly froze in the attempt.

We boarded the train and after a few minutes of instructions from Big Sasha, I found myself riding the rails. This was quite a change after the long noisy flight from America. The only sound I heard was the faint "clink-clink" of the rails under the cars. For the next 6 hours this cabin was to be my home.

I was in a train car drinking bottled water and eating Pepperidge Farms goldfish for supper! It did not matter though as it was Christmas Eve, the holiest night of the year and I too was on a journey; a journey that was taking me to a child that I loved. With each passing mile of track, I was that much closer. I cried of excitement as I thought of him and my family and all of the wonderful people who had helped to make this incredible journey possible.

Then, a long last, the train pulled into the station and there I saw the red neon-like sign "Smolensk" printed in Russian. I knew I had reached the end of my journey.

As I sat my mountain of luggage in the small hall of the train care I had occupied for the last 6 hours a man abruptly grabbed them and stated pulling them toward the door. I yelled, "No, No!" (In Russian) but still he kept pulling. Finally, I managed to regain control of my belongings and in broken Russian I told him I was to meet a lady named Vita. He then responded in broken English that Vita had sent him to take me to the hotel and that he was my driver. He extended his hand and said, "I'm Vladimir."

We then exited the train into the frigid, snow filled air with my luggage in tow. He put it into his care and we started out into the darkness of the Russian winter for the hotel. Several moments later we were entering the doors of the Hotel Russia. It was nearly midnight on Christmas Eve and I was exhausted from a trip that had taken nearly 24 hours. Vladimir saw me to my room and told me, "9:00 tomorrow." I knew this meant to be ready for Vita by 9:00am and my court hearing.

After Vladimir left, I went to get a shower and all I had was cold water. It had been over 24 hours since I had gotten a hot shower so I let the ware run for what seemed to be an eternity. After about 15 minutes I finally managed to get warm water and a shower.

I looked out my window and could not help but wonder where my Sasha was. I had just traveled over 4,500 miles and was now in the same town as he. But how close was he? Finally tiredness overcame curiosity, and I went to bed. After about 2 hours of sleep, I was awakened by the howling and barking of every dog in the village of Smolensk. After being awakened, I sat in the window of my room watching it snow, still wondering where he was.

Finally December 25, 2002, Christmas Day had arrived. It was 7:00am and I jumped into the shower with great vigor despite having almost no sleep and then dressed and went to the restaurant located in the basement of the hotel for breakfast. Much to my surprise the restaurant was only about 40 degrees. The temperature did not bother me as I ate my first breakfast in Russia and thought of the impending court hearing in only a few hours.

I returned to my room and waited for 9:00 and Vita to arrive. I used this time to go over all of my paperwork for the hearing and make sure that I had everything just right. I also packed a duffel bag with clothes for Sasha so he would look nice for the hearing.

At 9:00 I went to the lobby and met Vita. She was a beautiful, well-spoken lady that would act as my legal interpreter for the court hearing as well as my coordinator while I was in Smolensk. I told her I had new clothes for Sasha to wear to the court hearing and she told me he would not be attending the hearing, and that I would be going alone; so I returned the clothes to my room.

After a stop at the Board of Education, we then went to the court house. It was old and in very bad repair. We hurried inside out of the cold winter air and up several flights of stairs to a newly remodeled hallway. We sat for what seemed to be an eternity. While we waited, several more ladies joined us and Vita told me they represented different agencies associated with the adoption. My hearing was for 10:00, and I watched the clock intently. Slowly 10:00 came and went and there was no sign of the judge. I was quite shaken that something had gone wrong and that maybe there would be no hearing. What could have gone wrong I wondered, and it obviously showed on my face.

Just then a young lady approached and told us something in Russian. Vita quickly translated for me that the judge had been unavoidably detained and he apologized. Soon thereafter I saw a man pass by and slip into the office. Vita told me this was the judge and that he would be with us shortly. We then entered his chamber, and much to my surprise the judge was waiting for us dressed in black American jeans and a flannel shirt! He shook my hand and immediately put me at ease with his demeanor and dress. As the hearing started, he asked me if I objected to his secretary or anyone from the different agencies being in the hearing. I told him I did not mind, and thanked them all for coming on this cold morning.

The hearing proceeded for about 15 minutes with all of the ladies reading statements of support and approval for my adoption of Alexander Alexandrovich Drobishev (Sasha). After everyone had read their statements and the judge reviewed my paperwork and asked me several questions, we were escorted to the hall. Ten minutes later we returned to the judge's chamber, and he read his ruling. Vita translated in my ear that he has reviewed Sasha's history in the orphanage system and no one in Russia has expressed any interest in adopting him or giving him a home and therefore granted my petition to adopt him. At that moment, I began to cry. It was over! Sasha was mine! He was legally my son at 10:45 a.m. on Christmas Day 2002! What could make the holiday any better! My lifelong dream of being a father was just realized in the office of a Judge in Smolensk, Russia.

After we received the final papers, I was anxious to get to the orphanage to get my new son. Unfortunately, Vita told me I would be going to the hotel; and she would come for me later after all of the paperwork was completed and take me to the orphanage. Upon returning to my hotel room I again found myself sitting at the window and wondering where he was. Finally, the realization that the hearing was over had set in, and I began to relax for the first time in several months. I fell into a deep sleep for about 2 hours until I heard a soft knock at the door. It was Vita! It was time to go get my son!

We hurried to the orphanage which, as it turns out, was only on the other side of a large hill from where the motel was. As I got out of the car, through a dead thicket of trees and brush I saw a little head in the second story window. He waved to me and in a flash he was gone! Until I made my way around the side of the building, he came limping out the door and into my arms. It was the first time I got to hug MY SON! And it was a wonderful feeling!

We went into the orphanage where he told me he had fallen down the steps in his excitement to see me. I was greeted by Nina, the orphanage director, a large jolly lady whom I had only heard about until today. She hugged and congratulated me on adopting Alexander and invited me into her office. She quickly sent Sasha out of the office and offered me a seat. Through Vita she gave me some insight about my son and told me to be strict with him. She said he is a very hard, worker but I would have to keep him busy. I then made a donation to the orphanage and Nina gave me a book with pictures of Smolensk. Finally Sahsa came back, and Nina told me we could all go to the "apartment" where he had lived since he was 6 years old.

We all made our way up the stairs and I was surprised to see a group of about 10 people waiting in his room. One of the ladies was Galeena who had accompanied him to America in the summer and spent time with us. What a relief it was to see someone else that I knew! After a brief introduction to everyone in the room, another lady named Galeena told me she and her son Nickolai had spent time with Sasha. She also went on to say she knew it was Christmas day in America. Galeena told me she had prepared Christmas dinner at her apartment for a celebration of Alexander getting a family. She asked me to please come to her apartment later for a celebration. I graciously accepted her invitation.

Then I was given a tour of my son's apartment. Upon arrival in his bedroom, I placed the large duffel bag I had been carrying on his bed. Sasha was quite curious as to what was inside the bag but was anxious to give me a present he had for me. It was a small stuffed animal in a gift bag with a card that read, "I love you Papa."

After giving me my present, everyone left the room except for Sasha and me. As I opened the bag his eyes gleamed at the new, clean, clothes inside. I had him take off all of his old dirty clothes from the orphanage. With every piece of new clothing he put on, he would go out into the living area of the apartment and model it with a smile on his face and ooo's and ah's all around. Once he was fully dressed, I told him these were his clothes, and that he would never have to wear used clothing or share any clothes with anyone ever again. We went into the living room of the apartment where everyone marveled at his new leather coat and American clothes.

After the fashion show was over, Nina asked me to play the piano for them as Sasha had told her I was in a band at home and I repaired pianos for a living. I played the theme from Titanic, "My Heart Will Go On" and everyone just smiled and ooo'd. I guess it is true that music truly is the universal language! After I finished playing and received quite a round of applause, it was time for us to go. Sasha took one final look at the place he called home for so many years, picked up the blue duffel bag, now half empty and started down the stairs. We said our final good byes to everyone in the orphanage, and Sasha headed out the door for the final time and into a whole new life with me.

My driver, Vladimir drove us back to the hotel. The whole time Sasha's eyes were taking in the sights during his final hours in Smolensk. He pointed out a few things along the way and Vita translated for him. We arrived at the hotel and made final arrangements with Vita and Vladimir for our pick up later that evening to go to the train station. Then Sasha and I hurried inside out of the cold Russian winter air.

Once we got to our room I turned on the water and let it run until it was good and hot. I gave Sasha more clean clothes and told him to get a good hot shower. It must have been forever since he had the chance to get a hot shower as he was glad to do so. I redressed him and we talked and played games until it was time to head out into the cold winter air to walk to Galeena' s house. The walk seemed to take forever in the frigid cold. We arrived on time at Galeena' s apartment building and climbed what seemed to be an endless staircase to her apartment on the 4th floor. We were greeted at the door by Galeena and she introduced me to Anna, a friend of hers who would act as an interpreter for me that evening.

She had a beautiful table set with her finest china and linens. She showed me around her small apartment and then we sat and talked while sharing a bottle of wine. Later her son Nickolai arrived and brought another bottle of wine. We shared many toasts that evening and all the while kept an eye on Sahsa who was too nervous to eat. He just sat quietly and cried off and on, excited to go, but afraid to leave.

As the 10:00 hour approached we knew we would have to return to the motel and make final preparations for our return to Moscow on the midnight train. We all hurried out into the even colder night air for the long walk back to the motel. On arriving in our hotel room we tried several times to call my parents at home in America to let them know all was well, but quickly learned the phone system in Smolensk did not work with the phone system in America. At 10:30 p.m. Vladimir returned to the hotel and took Sasha, Nicholai and I to the train station. Galeena and Anna followed in a cab.

Arriving at the train station, I experienced a moment I will never forget. It was snowing, but a bit moon lit. Galeena was wearing a large blue Russian hat and coat. As the train steamed up in the distance, the air was filled with the sounds of announcements being made in Russian. It was like a scene from a movie and one that will forever be locked in my memory.

We boarded the train and loaded my mountain of luggage into our private car. In the Russian tradition, we all sat together a few moments to say our tearful good-byes until the conductor ordered all non-passengers off the train. It was very hard for me to leave these kind, loving people whom I had just met. They were a family for me on the best day of my life, and I will always be indebted to them and for taking care of my Sasha until I found him. Galeena, Anna and Nicholai stood outside our window as the train slowly pulled away from the station. We waved and watched them fade from sight into the darkness.
Sasha and I sat at the window for awhile and watched the countryside go by. Little by little he was starting to get sleepy. For me it was the greatest moment of my life. We were finally alone, just he and I. No chaperones. No interpreters. No friends. It was just us, father and son.

After a few moments he fell sound a sleep on his bunk. I covered him up and kissed him on the head. Finally, the fear and sadness in his eyes was gone. He was asleep and at peace. I could not believe it. He was finally mine and we were on our way to Moscow, a city I was referring to as home. It was the city that was the gateway to our return to America and a whole new life for both of us. As the train steamed through the night, I sat on my bunk and with great delight watched him sleep.

When the train arrived at 5:45 a.m. in Moscow, my coordinator, Big Sasha, was waiting at the station for us. Once again we stuffed the mountain of luggage into his small red Volkswagen station wagon, and he whisked us off to the Hotel Belgrade. We immediately registered and went to our room. By this time I was exhausted and looking forward to finally getting some sleep. After days of travel and the tension of how the court hearing in Smolensk would go, I was finally starting to relax.

Much to my surprise, Big Sasha pulled out yet another pack of papers and a pen and told me to start writing. He told me we had to fill all of the forms out so they could be taken to the Russian consulate and the American Embassy. For the next two hours we sat and filled out paperwork while my Sahsa happily watched whatever he wanted on television for the first time, oblivious to the work we were doing for him.

As the sun started to rise, Big Sasha left and told me to get some breakfast and be ready by 8:30 am. We had to be at the children's hospital by 9:00 for Sasha's final checkup in Russia. This was necessary for documentation for the American Embassy. We arrived at the children's hospital after a long wait in traffic. He was promptly taken to an examining room and x-rayed. They gave him a few shots, wrote a brief medical history and returned him to me. Dr. Boris told me he was in excellent condition and all his papers were in order for the Embassy.

After we left the children's hospital, Big Sahsa took us back to the hotel room and told us we had the rest of the day to ourselves. FINALLY I got a moment to sleep! My Sasha was all too happy to watch the television since he was in control of what he could watch rather than one show to please an entire group. I thought I would just take a "cat nap" and be ready to go explore Moscow. Little did I think I would wake up 3 hours later. I was so sound asleep, I never heard Sasha come in and cover me up.

It was now dark and time for supper. We headed out of the hotel and walked to Arabot Street nearby where there were a lot of shops and even an outdoor market. We strolled the street in search of a restaurant where we could eat that would please Sasha. Finally he saw an Italian restaurant and said, "Pizza!" I quickly agreed. I was just so happy to get him to eat as Galeena told me he had not eaten for 2 days prior to my arrival.

We strolled around Arabot Street a while longer, but Sasha was anxious to get back to the hotel to watch his television; and I was glad to get in out of the harsh cold. That evening Big Sahsa returned to our hotel accompanied by Ludmila. Ludmila was a wonderfully bubbly Russian lady who would take all of Sasha' s papers to the Russian Consulate for processing while he went to the American Embassy with Sasha' s final papers to get us an appointment for later that day. We were told to stay at the hotel until we received phone calls from both Big Sasha and Ludmilla.

When Big Sasha called he told us to be in the hotel lobby at 12:30 p.m. as our appointment time was 2:00 at the American Embassy. He said we had to get there extra early as the line forms fast, and they only let several people in at a time. With the impending holidays, we did not want to be late and not get our papers to return to America.

We met Big Sahsa and sped off to the American Embassy. We were the 2nd people in line. We waited for over an hour in the cold air, but finally the gates opened and everyone rushed inside. The room was full of nervous people and crying infants. Finally, our name was called. We went to the window and spoke a few words to the clerk, swore an oath all of the information was correct and received Sasha' s final papers and Visa. Everything was done, Sasha was coming to America!

We returned to the hotel and were instructed to stay close to the phone on Saturday morning as we would need to know if the flights were on schedule. That night we returned to the Italian restaurant for supper and a celebration for Sasha finally, after 5 months, coming home. We finished our supper and did some Christmas shopping. Upon returning to our hotel room, Ludmilla came with the final papers from the Russian Consulate, and we said good-bye to her. I began the task of packing all of the beautiful things we had just purchased for the long journey home while Sasha took advantage of watching television, eating Pringles and drinking Pepsi.

On Saturday morning we ate our last breakfast in the restaurant at the Hotel Belgrade and returned to our room. Big Sasha called and told us our flight had been delayed for 3 hours due to some severe weather in America. We called home and told them the news and not to worry.

It was getting rather cold in the hotel room so we sat and watched a funny movie on t. v. covered up with a blanket we had stolen from the bedroom. Finally Big Sasha came for us and took us to the airport. He helped us into the airport, and we said our final good-byes. We watched Big Sasha vanish into the crowd and proceeded through check-in.

We boarded the plane for the long flight to America. Sasha sat at the window and watched as we taxied and finally took off. As the ground below disappeared into the darkness, he slowly relaxed into his seat contented with the thought he was finally on his way home to a loving family.

Ten hours later we arrived in America at JFK airport in New York. His papers were processed quickly by the INS. After a fingerprint and a signature, we were on our way home. Finally it was over. Sasha was my son, and he was home to stay.

Spring 2003 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Spring 2004

Back to Home Page