When does love actually begin? We've been in love with
each other so long that I can't remember not being in love. It feels the same
with the three children we recently adopted from Nizhny-Tagil, Russia.
For almost as long as we've been married (11 years) we've wanted a family that
included children. We had some infertility problems in the beginning; then we
took a break from thinking about children and concentrated on our marriage.
We knew that our marriage had to be strong enough to stand on its own with or
without children. So when the time was right, we started down this road of adoption.
I read the following quote somewhere when we were just beginning our adoption
process and it became our motto. "Sometimes
the road God leads you on is so compelling you have to run, not walk to your
destination." We knew adoption was right
for us. We didn't even think about the infertility problems we'd had early on.
Now we cannot imagine being without children.
We actually began thinking about adoption about 2 years ago (1997). We attended
an informational meeting in a nearby city about international adoption. That
started us thinking and a year later we were ready to start the process. Wouldn't
you know it - Frank Adoption Center (FAC) had another informational meeting.
This time the meeting was in our city. Talk about perfect timing!
The entire adoption process took us 1 year. We had our homestudy done by a local
Agency in July 1998. It was about that time that we applied to Frank Adoption
Center. We didn't rush doing the paperwork; but were steady in our quest. We
received INS approval in December 1998. Our dossier was completed around February
1999.
We had talked about adopting 2 children at once. We actually got approved to
adopt 3 children - just in case! Well, apparently plans (that we were unaware
of) were already in the making for our family.
After Frank Adoption Center received our dossier, we received a call from the
coordinator for special circumstances children. Sibling groups fall under that
category. She said that she knew of a sibling group of 3. Were we interested?
Interested? Yes! Scared, nervous, unbelieving? Yes! So, I told her we'd talk
it over and let her know because even though we'd been approved for 3 and knew
we'd love to have 3, we never really thought we'd actually adopt 3 at once.
How would we ever afford it? We knew our budget was going to be stretched adopting
even 1.
Frank Adoption called back a few days later and wanted to know what we thought.
She said she'd viewed the video and the children were just precious. Though
I think we would have looked at the video no matter what she said. They mailed
us the video and medical reports - with no pressure attached to accept this
particular referral.
Just one look at that video - that's all it took! Of course we looked at that
tape thousands of times, but we were in love from the first viewing. Still nervous
and a little scared, but in love. It's funny, for years we were in love with
children without faces. But now, we were in love with children with names and
faces.
We called FAC and told them that we would like to adopt this sibling group.
I expressed our concerns about finances and they recommended that if we needed
financial assistance to call A
CHILD WAITS FOUNDATION. As time drew closer, we did contact them
and they gave us a loan.
FAC set up a conference call with the orphanage director/doctor and a translator.
We also received a still photo of each child. It was now middle to late March
1999. We were told that we would have to wait another 3 months before the kids
were available for us to adopt. Russian children have to be on a registry for
6 months after they are available for adoption. During the 6 months, only Russian
families can adopt them. After the 6 months, the children are available for
international adoption as well as Russian adoption.
So now we waited... We thought the next 3 months would go so slowly, but they
really didn't. Before we knew it, we had a court date set.
July 23
We flew out of DFW on Delta around noon
to JFK. A short layover and we were on our way to Moscow. We couldn't believe
this day had actually come. We had not realized we had been holding our breath
for a year!
July 24
When we arrived in Moscow, we retrieved
our luggage and went through customs without any problems whatsoever. Then we
were greeted by Jane from the Frank Foundation. She helps with the coordination
of the adoption in Russia. Soon we were greeted by Yuri, our coordinator. We
waited for 3 other couples to pass through customs and we were on our way to
our hostess' apartment.
We stayed in a 1 bedroom apartment that had a small kitchen and a small living
area with a fold-out couch, a television and a stereo. Our hostess was there
to greet us - a very kind, sweet lady. She fed us a small snack and left; but
returned later to feed us dinner. That night, we rested and tried to adjust
to Moscow time. It was a little hard to sleep since we were on a different time
schedule and we were excited. Also, it did not get dark until about 10:00 p.m.
July 25
We left in the morning to fly to Ekaterinburg.
It was about a 2 hour flight. When we arrived, we met the drivers for the group.
There was a total of 6 families in our group. We were driven to our hostess'
apartment. Again, we were fed and rested.
July 26
This was the day that we met our children
for the first time. Of the 6 families in our group, 4 of us were adopting from
Nizhny Tagil. Each family in the group was picked up by a driver. When we were
all together, we hit the road for the 2.5 hour drive to Nizhny Tagil. Our hearts
were racing. Could this actually be happening? Finally. Would the kids like
us? Would they come to love us? A thousand thoughts were running through our
heads.
When we arrived at the orphanage, we were greeted by the director and told what
would happen. We would all go into a large room and the children would be brought
to us. We would visit with the kids for a time and then go over the medicals
with the orphanage director. At that time, we could ask any questions we had.
So, the time had come. I was out of the room when 2 of our girls were brought
in (ages 6 and 7). Someone asked, "Who are the parents of these girls."
Mark says that he is the father. The girls ran to him "Papa, Papa!!!"
I walked into the room just as they were greeting their Papa. I was overwhelmed
at how quickly they took to him. Mark introduced me to them. I got hugs and
they immediately started talking to me non-stop. We took pictures and gave them
small gifts. Soon their brother aged two was brought out to us. He was more
hesitant to cuddle, but decided he would stand really close to Papa. We gave
him a gift and he thought maybe we weren't so bad after all. He was still shy
and not really understanding what was going on, but before long he opened up
to us and played with his new truck.
We visited, played, took pictures
and videotaped. We told the girls that we brought them some new clothes and
shoes and asked if they would like to change now. Yes they would. They were
so excited about everything. They were just precious. They showed us around
their playroom which was beautifully decorated. It looked like a picture out
of a magazine. We also dressed our new son in his new clothes and shoes.
Then it was time to go over the medical reports. The director read off of the
reports and explained anything we did not understand via a translator. We could
tell that the director truly cared about these children. And truth be told,
we think our children were some of her favorites!
After each family had their turn with the director, a social worker came to
ask a few questions. Questions similar to what we would hear in court. Have
you met the children? Do you still wish to adopt them? Why do you want to adopt?
Why these particular children? Why three at one time? Do you have any questions
which have not been answered?
A small snack and we were on our way to court. A 2.5 hour drive to Ekaterinburg,
then a 1 hour wait for court. Our court proceeding was very serious and somber.
It was held in a small room. There was a judge, prosecutor, court reporter,
orphanage representative, our translator and us. The judge asked Mark questions
and then asked me questions. Then it was the prosecutor's turn. The entire proceedings
lasted about 30 minutes. The judge left the room and was back in only a few
minutes and stated that we were now the parents of these three children. We
wanted to shout out loud!
Off again to our hostess' apartment. The children were there waiting on us.
We played, ate and slept.
July 27
We went to a local government office and filled out more paperwork. This was
for the adoption certificates, birth certificates, and children's passports.
We waited for quite a while and were called in to the office. A translator read
us the certificates and we signed that they were correct. We then waited as
each family had their turn.
The moms went to their respective apartments with the children while the dads
went to file the paperwork for the passports and exchange some money.
July 28
We had passport pictures made of the children and went back to our apartments.
Later that afternoon, we went to get the children's passports and then flew
back to Moscow. Our 3 children were ready to fly in the airplane and to come
to America. We were pleasantly surprised at their reaction to flying.
When we arrived in Moscow the weather had changed. All week it had been in the
90's in Moscow and in Ekaterinburg. Now it was cooler and rainy. It actually
felt quite nice, however we were not dressed for cooler weather. We drove to
our hostess' apartment (the same apartment we were in at the beginning of the
week).
July 29
We had the kids' physicals done. The doctor was wonderful with the kids. The
entire process took some time simply because of the amount of families in our
group. From there, we went to the US Embassy. Lots of paperwork to fill out,
especially for us because we were adopting 3. Luckily we had already done some
of it. Also, our translator had done some of it too. Still we had a lot to do.
The place was packed. We had to sit on the floor or stand because of the amount
of people in there. We opted for the floor! Eventually, our name was called.
We cannot say enough about how nice the man who did our interview was. We weren't
expecting anyone to be rude, but it sure was wonderful to have someone be extremely
pleasant and helpful. As a matter of fact, everyone we dealt with in Russia
was pleasant.
We were all tired and hot but decided to go shopping! First stop was a souvenir
shop. Everything Russian you can imagine - tshirts, dolls, toys, scarves, etc.
We bought a few items and left for Red Square. Walked around, took pictures
and shopped some from street vendors. It was beautiful! Then back to the apartment.
July 30
Today was our 11th wedding anniversary and it was a day of rest for us. No more
paperwork, no more lines to stand in, no more waiting, no more flying, no more
driving for hours . . . at least not today. We had a lazy morning, then were
off for more sight-seeing and shopping in the afternoon. What a way to spend
an anniversary with our new family!
Early to bed because we have to leave for the airport at 3:30 a.m. the next
morning. The girls were so excited about coming to America. The orphanage director,
orphanage workers and our hostesses really did a great job preparing them for
their journey and new life.
July 31
We were driven to the airport and shown which line to stand in. We were on our
own with our new family. Through customs without a hitch and we were on the
plane. We flew SwissAir from Moscow to Zurich, from Zurich to Atlanta, from
Atlanta to Dallas. It was the longest day of our lives. The best part of the
trip that day was when we were leaving Zurich and were each given a Coca-Cola
and a glass of ice. Mark and I agreed that those were the best Cokes we'd ever
had! The worst part of the trip was for our little boy. He had a sinus infection
and he was obviously not feeling well. His ears were bothering him. He cried
and cried and then slept and slept; cried some more and slept some more. Bless
his heart!
When we arrived in Atlanta we had to stand in yet another line to go through
US customs. From there we went to the INS office at the airport. Then to pick
up our luggage. We hurried to re-check the luggage and were off to our next
connection. We were almost home or so it seemed.
A short flight from Atlanta to Dallas where we had some family and friends waiting.
We were tired to say the least, but so happy to be off of any airplane. We drove
to our friend's apartment where we rested and ate. Then we drove home - about
a 3.5 hour drive. When we arrived at our house, we had more family waiting.
It was about 2:30 in the morning. It was perfect because our children had slept
some and were ready to be awake. They absolutely loved seeing their new house
and meeting their grandmothers, some aunts and some cousins.
Sleep that night (or should I say "morning") was great! We were actually
home with our 3 little angels.
And so our real journey begins...
We have a new motto now. It's a quote from Mark Twain. "Why not go out
on a limb? That's where the fruit is." So many people ask us why we adopted
3 children at once. Are we crazy? Maybe. It is hard? You bet. Do we have any
regrets or doubts? Not one. Would we do it again? In a heartbeat.
Thanks so much to everyone that helped us, our home study agency, Frank Adoption
Center, Frank Foundation and A CHILD WAITS FOUNDATION.
Without these
wonderful people our dream would not be coming true even now.