We adopted our daughter Abigail from Bulgaria in 2003.
Our daughter was born with congenital heart disease. Her disorder is called
"levocardia". Her heart has only one functioning ventricle and is
turned around in her body so that what should be on the left side is on the
right side and vice versa. She has moderate/severe attachment disorders and
several neurological issues. After being here for over 1 ½ years she
is still unable to speak very clearly and is confined to simple sentences.
Our first pictures of Abigail from the orphanage.
The orphanage was wonderful in our opinion. The children had an obvious liking and bond with their caretakers. It appeared clean to their country's standards. We obviously were not able to question very much but the children appeared to be taken care of.
Our trip was very good. Because I had lived in a 3rd world country for over 2 years I was not surprised and did not experience anything unexpected. My wife was in awe at some of the stark differences between our country and Bulgaria.
My wife got really sick while we were there on our first trip. She has severe milk allergies and she may have had something that contained milk. Other than that, the trip was very good.
Because we didn't speak the language, our only interaction was with our adoption attorney/facilitator. We were able to have some good laughs with the orphanage director via our facilitator.
We were amazed at how tiny our daughter was. When we met her for the first time she was only about 18 pounds (she was 3 ½ at the time). We were also filled with tremendous love for her. We did our best to bond with her and teach Abigail her first word. Her first word in Bulgarian and English was "Mama".
The day we picked her up from the orphanage to bring her home,
and in the hotel prior to flying home.
Initially she was terrified to be alone with us. We had to give her pretzels, which she loved, to help distract her from the love and physical touch we were attempting to show her. Our daughter physically attacked my wife for the first 6 months of bringing her home. After her heart surgery last year she stopped doing that. She now bonds somewhat with my wife and I but she has a very difficult time bonding with our biological children. She does not like that she has to compete for our time and attention. Our children have had a very hard time with her as well.
Physically our daughter is doing well. Her heart condition is in the background and takes medication to help keep it working well. We march forward in attempting to deal with her attachment conditions. The biggest thing we tell other prospective adoptive parents that we meet is to be sure of their decision. Many people, including ourselves, have a false fantasy that they are "super heroes" and want to adopt out of the goodness of their hearts. If the child is not an infant, the "honeymoon" ends very quickly and couples need to be prepared and have a very good support system with respite care waiting in the wings.
Abigail 5 months after adoption and with Mom 1 year after adoption.
Shawn Wright and the Wright Family