Makings of the Wood Family
Everyone says that it takes a special type of person
to adopt. Frankly, we don't see it that way because to us it was the only thing
to do. Our story is a little different than most. We never tried to have biological
children, adoption has always been the way we wanted to go, and it has always
felt right to us. We have just always felt it was our destiny.
We were married in August 1986. The question that people
always asked us is "When are you going to have children?", we would
just tell people "whenever we are ready". Everyone else was more worried
about it than us. To us it just never felt like the right time. So after 10
or more years of marriage people just quit asking.
Back in 1997 we started checking into domestic adoption.
If you wanted a newborn then you could go through several adoption agencies
and be put on a waiting list for several years. Otherwise, if you wanted toddlers
(like us) you would have to go through the Division of Family Services. So we
contacted them and that was a joke. We were asked if we would be foster parents
and we said no way, we didn't want to get attached to a child and have them
taken away. After that they basically said there was no hope of getting toddlers
because by the time these kids are shuffled around they are 5 years old or older.
We said we wanted to try anyway, well after our paperwork being 'lost' twice
and not hearing anything for more than six months each time it was lost, we
said forget it. But that was okay anyway because DFS was hoping that once we-adopted
that we would remain in contact with the biological parents; that just wasn't
going to happen. In most cases, those children were taken away from their parents
for a reason, not because their parents wanted a better life for them.
So we gave up for a few years on the adoption, our attitude
was just, oh well; I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Then in the summer of
2001, it just felt like it was time to start the search for our children and
we knew they were not in the United States. So we looked up information on the
Internet and looked for agencies in the adoption guide. We narrowed it down
to 4 agencies in December 2001 and called them. Then we decided on the country
of Ukraine and an agency. We went to an adoption seminar that the agency was
giving in January of2002. We found out that almost everyone there had tried
to adopt domestically, like us, and hit a brick wall, like us.
We started doing our paperwork the first week of February
2002. That started the official adoption process for us. Then after a massive
amount of paperwork, our dossier was sent to Ukraine in October of 2002. We
waited and waited for an answer but then in January of 2003 (after this agency
told us from start to finish it would only take 9-10 months) the agency called
and said Ukraine changed their policy and we could only have one child. Well,
we weren't going to give up on the idea of adopting a boy and a girl 12-18 months
old. So we called Small World Adoption Foundation which is based in St. Louis
Missouri (which is close to us). Small World told us that we could still get
two children in Ukraine if you fill out two dossiers, so we decided to change
agencies since we were getting nowhere with the other agency and apparently
the other agency did not know what was going on. So in February of 2003 we signed
on with Small World and we left for Ukraine on June 9, 2003.
We got to Kiev, Ukraine late in the evening on June
10, 2003. We went to the adoption center on June 11th to look at pictures of
children. We picked our children from an orphanage in Zaporizhya, Ukraine. While
we were in Kiev our interpreter took us on a tour of the city, it is beautiful.
A lot of people don't know where Ukraine is, much less how beautiful it is.
So when someone asks we just say our kids are Russian, which is the truth. It
is just easier to explain than the whole Soviet Union deal.
We boarded an overnight train June 13, 2003 (16 hours)
for Zaporizhya and arrived there on Saturday, June 14, 2003. Our attorney was
waiting for us and took us to the apartment we would be staying in. On the outside
it didn't look like much, but on the inside it was very nice and was spotless.
The lady that lived there and her daughter moved out so that we could move in
for a week or so. She was paid very well for that week, so it wasn't a burden
to her, it's her job.
Our translator came for us later that morning and took
us to the orphanage to meet the children. We were told the orphanage in Zaporizhya
is the biggest and nicest orphanage in Ukraine. There were over 300 children
under the age of three there. Our son Justin Anton (Igor Vitalovich Krot), 14
months old, was in an upstairs room. Our daughter Kourtney Oksana (Oksana Viktorvina
Bashuk), 14 months old, was in a downstairs room. We met our son first and he
was not scared at all, we sat and played during our visit. When we met our daughter
they put her in Jerry's arms. She started to cry but then changed her mind and
started playing with Jerry's facial hair and then touching his face. She apparently
had never seen or touched facial hair. They rarely see men, just Dads coming
to see their children.
Justin and Kourtney Wood - 18 months old - October 2003
We visited the children two to three times a day, depending
on what paperwork we had to do. By our second visit we were both able to hold
the children and play with them without them being scared. They bonded to us
quickly and to each other quickly. They did not know each other until we introduced
them in the orphanage.
We were given a tour of Zaporizhya by our interpreter and learned about the
local history during our stay there. We met some very nice Ukrainian people
in the area. We also became good friends with two couples from Israel during
our stay.
Daddy, Justin and Kourtney - June 2003
We went to court on Friday, June 20, 2003 to adopt both
children. We left them at the orphanage, something they recommended, that we
don't agree with, until Sunday evening. We picked them up Sunday evening and
gave them a very much needed bath (they don't get baths at the orphanage) and
they slept with us. We took a 7:00 a.m. flight on Monday, June 23 back to Kiev,
Ukraine (45 minutes flight, no 16 hour train ride). We were met at the station
by our interpreter. We finished up the paperwork there in Kiev and took a plane
(about an hour and a half flight) to Warsaw, Poland on Tuesday, June 24th. We
were unable to get a flight back to the USA until Friday morning. Which worked
out okay because we did not get our paperwork finished until Thursday and was
able to tour the old town and see a little bit of the city. Poland is more modern
than Ukraine, but not as modern as the US cities. On Friday, June 27, 2003 we
flew back to the USA into Chicago, IL, and our children became US Citizens on
the spot.
We really enjoyed our stay in Eastern Europe. We love
Ukraine and will definitely visit there, we want our children to be able to
learn about their heritage and see where they are from. Our children have dual
citizenship; they are Ukrainian and US citizens until they are 18. At that time
they can choose to keep or let go of their Ukrainian citizenship. At that time,
if they want to search for their birth parents, we will help them. We know who
the birth parents are but they don't know who we are. In Ukraine the records
are sealed. We would like to meet their birth parents to thank them for their
selflessness and the precious gifts that they gave us. People don't understand
how the birth parents could give up two beautiful children, but we do. We went
to their birth country and lived for 2 weeks, long enough to see everyone's
economic struggles. The birth parents were in a desperate situation and at the
time they could only pray that their children would be adopted. They did not
want to give up their children; they felt that they had to for the children's
sake. But now they know they did the right thing, the court notified them that
they were being adopted on June 20, 2003. So I am sure their burden is a little
easier to bear now. We think that if you adopt internationally you should have
to visit the children's birth country as part of the adoption experience. It
only makes sense, otherwise how will you know where they come from really.
Adoption is a beautiful experience and we would recommend
it for everyone. But it wasn't a last resort for us; it was our first choice,
so maybe we look at it differently than most people. Our children are tiny but
strong, healthy and beautiful. They were bonded to us before we left Ukraine.
When we came for them and took them out of the orphanage, they did not look
back, they were happy to go. It is like they knew that life would be better
with us. So there are no regrets, it was worth the struggles. Like one of the
adoptive mothers we met in Ukraine said "People think adoption is easy
because we did not have labor pains, they are wrong, this is labor pains!"
We couldn't agree more.
Kimmily and Jerry Wood
Desloge, Missouri
Children at the Orphanage
