We received a $2500 grant from you guys in Nov 2018 to help with our adoption of our daughter from China. 

In November 2017, I saw a post on Facebook advocating for 3 young ladies soon to age out of care in China. The post was from an acquaintance that is an expat in China. I have always had a heart to adopt and love children that are motherless...even when in high school I talked about adopting children. My husband and I are a blended family. Together we had 6 children. We felt our quiver was full. He had two girls, and I had two girls coming into our marriage. Four years later we had two boys. But that Facebook post changed our lives forever. 

I emailed my husband the posts about the girls and begged him to not think about how, but think about the what if they age out. A couple of days later I brought it up while making dinner. Our two teen daughters that were still at home got in the middle of the conversation, and the next thing you know we were all day dreaming about a new family with all 3 young ladies advocated for in that Facebook post. At the end of the evening, my husband agreed to me inquiring about the girls and what it would take. I asked the acquaintance that shared the Facebook post to pray God would move on my husband’s heart in a radical way. 

 

The next day I had a lot of back and forth conversations via text and on the phone with the adoption agency’s advocate that created the original post. At the end of the day she informed us of how to move forward and that we would only be able to adopt one of the girls. I called my husband immediately and informed him of the news. We anguished over having to choose one of the girls. We included our teens in the process. One of them said she couldn’t choose. It was too much emotionally for her. The other felt what we had felt...my husband and I were drawn more towards one girl overall. And we learned she had been available longer than the others. We also learned another family began the process to adopt her and then just disappeared from the agency. We felt she was the one we were meant to go after. And that was the crazier part...God HAD radically moved on my husband’s heart. My husband had already begun the application to the agency before I even told him that was the next step. He also began watching YouTube videos on learning Mandarin. He later told me he was sitting in his office, and he heard a voice that said...She’s your daughter. Go get your daughter. 

 

We jumped all in. We put all of our savings into the adoption. We pulled all of our resources. We worked extra, odd jobs. We put our creative skills to use. I made wooden decorative signs and sold them around Christmas. My husband baked his famous white chocolate cheesecake into mini cheesecakes and we sold them around Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. (People still want to order them during Valentine’s.). 

 

We raised and worked enough odd jobs and had a handful of donations, that we raised a little over $14,000 for the adoption. We were still around $14,000 short. Through your grant, a couple of anonymous large gifts to our agency, and a loan we were able to complete our funds and adopt our daughter at the end of November 2018. We spent almost three weeks in China. We came home on December 3, 2018. Our daughter, whom we named Maleah Demei, was guarded and jaded and bewildered when she first came home. The 2nd week of China was a huge challenge for me as a mom and for us as a family. I questioned so many things. My husband was a rock. Upon returning I decided to just love this little girl and to let go of the idea of her accepting me as her mom ever. If I could get her to adulthood as a contributing citizen, then I would feel accomplished regardless if she loved me or truly accepted me as mom. We began attachment counseling. We spent 10-12 weeks in counseling. The therapist was so encouraging that attachment was happening and we were handling things so well. She eventually “graduated” us from counseling. 

 

Over time we’ve began to see our daughter’s walls come down. We’ve began to see the trust grow. We’ve watched our daughter go from sad and mad and anxious to carefree and joyful and secure. We continue to build attachment with her, to build trust with her, to show her what it means to be in a family, and to love her with grace and empathy. She’s doing well in school. She has friends. She’s the bravest person I know. 

In China I was afraid of the mom I had become. I was afraid I would never be the same. I worried what that would look like for my 2 youngest children. China did change me. Demei has changed me and the rest of our family. But it’s been all for the better. I’m a better mom than I could have ever imagined. Looking at someone...past their behaviors, past the rejection they’re dishing out...and to focus on what you know is inside them...it revolutionizes you. Demei needed a family, but God has shown me we needed her more than she needed us. 

This is our most recent photo of us with our 7 children and 3 grandchildren. The photo of Demei by herself is about 2-3 weeks after we came home in December of 2018. My friend caught a rare smile at the time from her. It’s a photo I cherished and hung on to for a long time. She didn’t allow many photos after we came home. And if she was in them she hid her face and definitely didn’t smile. That is completely different now. She is willing to take photos and smile and not hide her face. 

Thank you for believing in us and taking a risk on us...especially because we were so late requesting help from you. You guys responded with so much care and kindness. 

We are eternally grateful. And you have played an eternal role in the life of Maleah Demei!  I believe your lives will be blessed beyond measure for that. 

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